Vituttaa so perkeleesti, that I'm too vitun tired to write any vitun entries for this or last week. I had a topic, but it was too diluted to post. 100 motrocyclists beat-up a car who tried to pass the mob after an accident in center of Kuala Lumpur. Whoopee. There it is anyway.
Albeit that is not what vituttaa me, but other things. Vitun vittu.
Markvs out. Vittu.
Showing posts with label Kuala Lumpur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kuala Lumpur. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Deadline
Oh boy. I'm sure people have talked about deadlines since someone invented them. I hate deadlines, and Dilbert and Garfield and etc. hate deadlines too. And mondays. Luckily it's tuesday, and unluckily I have a pressuring deadline.
My boss just told me yesterday that I have to move during this week, 'cause my old apartment is "due". I know the nice areas in Kuala Lumpur where to look at, and believe me, I've been looking at them. It is just that with my budget it isn't the easiest task to find a good value for the money - especially as a white boy, where every agent sees a potential for exploit. Well fuck that.
Regardless, I gotta move to a new home this week *snap* just like that. While it may sound hasty, hassleish, stressing or pressuring, it is all of those three lumped together and tripled. Vitutuksen multihuipennus, as we say in Finland.
I'll get back to you next week once this is sorted out.
My boss just told me yesterday that I have to move during this week, 'cause my old apartment is "due". I know the nice areas in Kuala Lumpur where to look at, and believe me, I've been looking at them. It is just that with my budget it isn't the easiest task to find a good value for the money - especially as a white boy, where every agent sees a potential for exploit. Well fuck that.
Regardless, I gotta move to a new home this week *snap* just like that. While it may sound hasty, hassleish, stressing or pressuring, it is all of those three lumped together and tripled. Vitutuksen multihuipennus, as we say in Finland.
I'll get back to you next week once this is sorted out.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Everybody Poops
In Malaysia there are two types of toilets; the NORMAL one (yes, the porcelain seat is for normal people) and the-hole-in-the-ground-surrounded-by-a-porcelain-frame. The latter one is supposedly more common in India and China than in Malaysia, but it sucks nevertheless. If your knees aren't made of steel, that is.
Regardless of the toilet format however, Malaysians have a tendency to wet the WHOLE BLOODY TOILET when they take a poop. This is very annoying. When I have to go for the big second one, I don't like to do it in a fucking swimming pool. The thing why the toilet is wet, is because some people wash their assess instead of/in addition to wiping them. Maybe this sounds very nice to someone who likes to be a goddamn hippie, but on the other hand, excessive amounts of clean water is wasted in the process. I'm not an expert enough to tell which solution is more tolling for the environment, but both of them are that for sure. The fact is that there are too many poopers in the world, rather than people are pooping in a wrong way.
Imagine yourself having a stressful day, stressful meetings, tons of coffee, some quick lunching etc. This all means that a grand grand snake is building up during the day. Then after your work, when the mental pressure is relieved, the physical one in your intestines begin - and it usually comes fast as hell, so you gotta find the closest toilet 'cause normally you haven't reached home yet. You can probably imagine how FUCKING NICE it is to go to take a poop in a tiny all wet cabinet with the pissy shopping mall piano tunes mixed with farts , everyone else doing the same pooping thing next to you inside other cabinets, and the whole place stinking like there's no tomorrow.
This post is a direct traveler and expat tip; don't use public toilets, observe your snake build up, and time the sinking operation. Starhill Gallery in Bukit Bintang has excellent and clean toilets by the way. They're dark, silent and peaceful , and although a little bit costly, its definately worth to pay RM 1 for a good ol' stress relieving peaceful shit.
Regardless of the toilet format however, Malaysians have a tendency to wet the WHOLE BLOODY TOILET when they take a poop. This is very annoying. When I have to go for the big second one, I don't like to do it in a fucking swimming pool. The thing why the toilet is wet, is because some people wash their assess instead of/in addition to wiping them. Maybe this sounds very nice to someone who likes to be a goddamn hippie, but on the other hand, excessive amounts of clean water is wasted in the process. I'm not an expert enough to tell which solution is more tolling for the environment, but both of them are that for sure. The fact is that there are too many poopers in the world, rather than people are pooping in a wrong way.
Imagine yourself having a stressful day, stressful meetings, tons of coffee, some quick lunching etc. This all means that a grand grand snake is building up during the day. Then after your work, when the mental pressure is relieved, the physical one in your intestines begin - and it usually comes fast as hell, so you gotta find the closest toilet 'cause normally you haven't reached home yet. You can probably imagine how FUCKING NICE it is to go to take a poop in a tiny all wet cabinet with the pissy shopping mall piano tunes mixed with farts , everyone else doing the same pooping thing next to you inside other cabinets, and the whole place stinking like there's no tomorrow.
This post is a direct traveler and expat tip; don't use public toilets, observe your snake build up, and time the sinking operation. Starhill Gallery in Bukit Bintang has excellent and clean toilets by the way. They're dark, silent and peaceful , and although a little bit costly, its definately worth to pay RM 1 for a good ol' stress relieving peaceful shit.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Mit Gas
Having a car in Kuala Lumpur is a necessity. Having said that, having a car in Kuala Lumpur is nowhere near as useful as one might think. If anyone has ever experienced Kuala Lumpur traffic jams, I'm sure one knows what I'm talking about. I'm not sure if the traffic here is extremely bad in comparison, but it still is bad nevertheless. Any situation where you would be better off with a bicycle than a car, is an extremely bad use of car for me.
The traffic problem is two-way; public transportation sucks 'cause the jams are huge (and to be honest, the whole system is under development), and the jams are huge cause public transportation is not used. Rise in gasoline prices has (surprisingly) added to this problem a great deal. One of the worst traffic jams I've ever experienced was the day prior to adjusting gasoline prices. People were queuing to gas stations like it was free money for free (practically it was) and sucked them dry. This was just one day's problem however.
The real problem at this moment, which is more persisting, is that rise in gasoline price caused demonstrations in the roads in Malaysia (as well as in other countries). If these demonstrations weren't hassle enough, police decided to set up road blocks to control the security threat these demonstrations posed to people. The Star is a rather objective newspaper in KL, you may wanna check it out to get a better view of the current situation (the picture in the article gives a very good impression how a traditional KL traffic jam looks like);
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/7/15/nation/21822758&sec=nation
Anyways, knowing that there are traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur is not very useful, but "the local tricks" are. After few months of driving around the city I've found out some very common useful tricks;
- Avoid the most direct routes. If you choose a longer road in distance, you get only about 50% or less of the cars than on the main roads, and can arrive from 15 minutes to even 1 hour earlier.
- Be rude. This is probably the main reason behind traffic jams anyway (or the city's road "design"...), but believe me, without being arrogant you will get the shortest stick. No matter how noble or polite you want to be on paper, it is easily forgotten when you're still stuck for the third hour in a normally fifteen minute trip.
- Avoid driving during the rain. I don't know if water is forming the extra cars or what, but for some funny reason the amount of cars in the roads during rain is at least tripled from normal. I guess Malaysians are made out of sugar.
- Abuse the jumpers. If you see a driver jumping in a queue, or using any other masterful traffic jumping/switching lanes tactic, and slowing down everyone else - copy that and do it for him or her. They usually regret their own rudeness, so you can freely exploit that more than often 'cause they let you in front of them more easily.
- Traffic light stop. Every single moped in KL are already going when they see the crossing traffic light turns to red, and soon theirs will be green. Thus, I don't understand why people still go during a yellow one. So be careful. But here's one trick to "pay back" if you're bored and the car behind you is annoying; look for a blinking green, stop, and you hear a horn. When the blinking green turns to yellow, press the pedal and leave the sucker standing stupidly with his red light. Works every time, but better be sure the driver is not fit for vengeance.
Seriously, I don't want to recommend rude, arrogant and plain awful driving to anyone since it is the major reason behind traffic jams. But the fact still is that a lot of people think "eye-for-an-eye" in the traffic, and you should too. Nice people always end up with nothing and thats the rule of (urban) jungle forever and ever. And always remember to blame either the government or the gas prices on bad traffic and your bad driving.
The traffic problem is two-way; public transportation sucks 'cause the jams are huge (and to be honest, the whole system is under development), and the jams are huge cause public transportation is not used. Rise in gasoline prices has (surprisingly) added to this problem a great deal. One of the worst traffic jams I've ever experienced was the day prior to adjusting gasoline prices. People were queuing to gas stations like it was free money for free (practically it was) and sucked them dry. This was just one day's problem however.
The real problem at this moment, which is more persisting, is that rise in gasoline price caused demonstrations in the roads in Malaysia (as well as in other countries). If these demonstrations weren't hassle enough, police decided to set up road blocks to control the security threat these demonstrations posed to people. The Star is a rather objective newspaper in KL, you may wanna check it out to get a better view of the current situation (the picture in the article gives a very good impression how a traditional KL traffic jam looks like);
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/7/15/nation/21822758&sec=nation
Anyways, knowing that there are traffic jams in Kuala Lumpur is not very useful, but "the local tricks" are. After few months of driving around the city I've found out some very common useful tricks;
- Avoid the most direct routes. If you choose a longer road in distance, you get only about 50% or less of the cars than on the main roads, and can arrive from 15 minutes to even 1 hour earlier.
- Be rude. This is probably the main reason behind traffic jams anyway (or the city's road "design"...), but believe me, without being arrogant you will get the shortest stick. No matter how noble or polite you want to be on paper, it is easily forgotten when you're still stuck for the third hour in a normally fifteen minute trip.
- Avoid driving during the rain. I don't know if water is forming the extra cars or what, but for some funny reason the amount of cars in the roads during rain is at least tripled from normal. I guess Malaysians are made out of sugar.
- Abuse the jumpers. If you see a driver jumping in a queue, or using any other masterful traffic jumping/switching lanes tactic, and slowing down everyone else - copy that and do it for him or her. They usually regret their own rudeness, so you can freely exploit that more than often 'cause they let you in front of them more easily.
- Traffic light stop. Every single moped in KL are already going when they see the crossing traffic light turns to red, and soon theirs will be green. Thus, I don't understand why people still go during a yellow one. So be careful. But here's one trick to "pay back" if you're bored and the car behind you is annoying; look for a blinking green, stop, and you hear a horn. When the blinking green turns to yellow, press the pedal and leave the sucker standing stupidly with his red light. Works every time, but better be sure the driver is not fit for vengeance.
Seriously, I don't want to recommend rude, arrogant and plain awful driving to anyone since it is the major reason behind traffic jams. But the fact still is that a lot of people think "eye-for-an-eye" in the traffic, and you should too. Nice people always end up with nothing and thats the rule of (urban) jungle forever and ever. And always remember to blame either the government or the gas prices on bad traffic and your bad driving.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
About me and Kuala Lumpur
Dear beloved readers. My name is Markvs and I'm a cockface. Not a joke, I'm a shithead for real, and I do my best to insult directly or indirectly each and every single one of the rubbish, which form the human landfill that chums on the face of earth.
So I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and I pretty much like it here. I hate the people - as usual for me regardless of my location - but I love the food and Malaysian pricing. Generally Kuala Lumpur is a slow-paced big city, but with its own personality. Traffic jams are huge and common, the city is designed by "dropping" some high buildings around the city and building the roads randomly to cause extreme traffic and confusion. No wonder KL is not a major tourist attraction.
I really don't know what else should I write in this introductory post so maybe I write something about Japanese noise. If jewtube works in your country, please go and see.
---
Inspiring, am I correct? This stuff is the shit, and albeit it may seem like total crap to your narrow-minded assumptions of what art should be like, I'm sure you can't deny that you're fascinated by those performances in a twisted way. I don't know Japanese people, their culture, their pop-culture nor anything else valuable - but I know they are hella good in Street Fighter III - 3rd Strike, and they are extremely good at being random.
Thus, I'm being random as well, and my jump from Kuala Lumpur presentation to Japanese noise is just a mere homage to Japanese randomness. If you don't like it, I'm honestly not very sorry and won't be held responsible of your moral values going down the drain when you see a woman peeing on the stage.
So I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and I pretty much like it here. I hate the people - as usual for me regardless of my location - but I love the food and Malaysian pricing. Generally Kuala Lumpur is a slow-paced big city, but with its own personality. Traffic jams are huge and common, the city is designed by "dropping" some high buildings around the city and building the roads randomly to cause extreme traffic and confusion. No wonder KL is not a major tourist attraction.
I really don't know what else should I write in this introductory post so maybe I write something about Japanese noise. If jewtube works in your country, please go and see.
---
Inspiring, am I correct? This stuff is the shit, and albeit it may seem like total crap to your narrow-minded assumptions of what art should be like, I'm sure you can't deny that you're fascinated by those performances in a twisted way. I don't know Japanese people, their culture, their pop-culture nor anything else valuable - but I know they are hella good in Street Fighter III - 3rd Strike, and they are extremely good at being random.
Thus, I'm being random as well, and my jump from Kuala Lumpur presentation to Japanese noise is just a mere homage to Japanese randomness. If you don't like it, I'm honestly not very sorry and won't be held responsible of your moral values going down the drain when you see a woman peeing on the stage.
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